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Writer's pictureThe Artful Giver

Your Most Romantic Valentine's Day Ever

Updated: Aug 11, 2023


What is Valentine’s Day? From whence came this day dedicated to lovers? There is one theory that it is a Christianization of the pagan celebration of Lupercalia, an ancient Roman fertility festival that was marked on the ides of February—that is, February 15th—in tribute to Faunus, the god of agriculture.

Other theories hold that it commemorates the anniversary of the death or burial of Saint Valentine sometime around 270 CE. In one telling, the story of Saint Valentine includes his escape from a Roman prison, but not before he sent the very first valentine—to a young woman, possibly his jailer’s daughter, with whom he had fallen in love.

No matter what its origins in the ancient world, modern Valentine’s Day has become a time of year that, in the midst of dark and dreary winter, fills us with anticipation… And expectations.

Possibly too much anticipation, and expectations that are too great. The traditional gifts on this most heated of holidays are flowers, chocolates—and, just maybe, something that comes in a small, velvet box. Those of us who don’t get these very things can feel let down. Deprived. I mean, these things we’re supposed to be offered on Valentine’s Day are so basic and ordained we wonder what is wrong with a partner who can’t be bothered to follow the script.

For others of us, not getting flowers and chocolates can remind us that we are alone. Unpartnered. Lonely.

In this post I’m going to advocate that, this year, however, we think a little bit out of the box. That we rethink what we really want on Valentine’s Day. While I would never turn down flowers or chocolates—or, for that matter, a nice piece of jewelry; I’m not a monster—as I go through the years in our hurry-hurry world, what I find I want most is time. Time together with my best fella—or time by myself, to indulge my own desires and do as I please. I want an experience. I want to make a memory.

A day of leisure and ease in the company of the man whose company I like best or, alternatively, as I’ve done on many Valentine’s Days past, tending only to my own whims? Either, truly, feels to me like a great luxury.

In pursuit of this magnificent treat, I have gathered a very few things to enhance the day. Whether you’re planning an evening for one or for two, I hope this small list inspires you to have a Valentine’s Day as big and brilliant as the one I’m dreaming up…



First things first: set the mood with scent.


I’m a sucker for aromatherapy candles, but this is the first Apotheke candle I’ve purchased. I was attracted to the candle at the outset because of its pot—clean, modern, matte black—and thought it would look cool on my bedside table. But I was also attracted to the way the scent was described on its sales page—cedarwood and sandalwood combined with smokey amber and oud, which is derived from tropical wood and is both expensive and intoxicatingly musky. Throw in that it is made with high-quality soy wax and how could I resist?


The scent of this candle is clean and woodsy and so very sexy (that oud!) all at the same time and I have become a devotee of this brand.



There is nothing new about a Valentine’s Day cards—they are as old school as you can get—but they are part of the tradition that I actually really like. I’ve kept a collection of some of the more beautiful and meaningful ones I’ve received over the years


This year my valentine might just get two—one that is sweet, because who doesn’t love a well-done pop-up card…











and one that is salty, because who doesn’t love a good laugh?









I’ve known for a while that one, large, preferably round ice cube is a better bet in a glass of whiskey than several small ones. This is because there is less surface area on that one large cube and, because there is less surface area that is exposed to the warm liquid, the ice melts more slowly, chilling the drink without diluting it.


It was just this Valentine’s Day, however, that I decided it was time to get myself a gadget to make large, round ice cubes at home. This one from Tinana is compact, sits with great stability in the freezer and is easy to use though, I have to admit, I still don’t get six identical spheres each time I freeze it—so take more care than I do when you use the tiny funnels that come with to fill it. What I have discovered, however, is that even half a sphere is superior to the small squares my refrigerator produces!



It goes without saying that, should you decide it is time for you to try making round ice cubes too, make sure you have a bottle of good whiskey to go with!





4. Aphrodisiac food: the Intercourses cookbook


An aphrodisiac—a word that comes to us from Aphrodite, Greek goddess of love—is a food or other concoction that causes arousal. And aphrodisiacs may really be real!


Well, not real in the sense that there are specific foods that flip a switch and (ahem) turn us on, but, according to experts, certain foods do contain nutrients that improve the health of our sex organs and/or increase the sensations of desire like heart rate or physical energy, and thus make us more inclined to get down.


Don’t discount, either, the placebo effect of foods long thought to possess aphrodisiacal qualities like chocolate, figs, and strawberries. Go ahead, bite into a juicy chocolate-covered strawberry and tell me how you feel with that bite in your mouth…


The Intercourses cookbook is a delicious primer on all things aphrodisiac. Get yourself a copy. On the 14th I know I’ll be making something from its sumptuous pages.



Likely involving oysters…













Among the things that can be stimulated on Valentine’s Day, if you do it to my brain I’m all yours. This provocative book, All About Love, by the late and wonderful bell hooks isn’t so much about valentines, but, as Maya Angelou said, is “a refreshing spiritual treatise that steps outside the confines of the intellect and into the wilds of the heart.”


Yes, please.





A truly romantic evening must include music, of course. While some (like Carrie Bradshaw) might say Moon River is corny, we agree with Big that it is classic—and possibly the most romantic song ever written.


Even more romantic if it’s played on vinyl, so extra credit if you throw a turntable into your gift package—this is the outstandingly retro one I bought.





So, once you’ve eaten your aphrodisiacs, and drunk your whiskey, and danced along your own moon river—what then?


No, no, not that.


Not yet.


Settle in to watch the most thrillingly sensual movie you will ever see, Dangerous Beauty: “…as sumptuous as it is passionate, a work of redemptive romance that fills the eye and heart.”


This is the true story of a woman who defied 16th-century convention and the nobleman she loves but cannot have, the Inquisition that threatens to tear them apart and the saving grace and courage of true love.


Watch it together.


And thank me in the morning.




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